Sophie Dozois is a psychotherapist and member of the Culminate Group team with a special interest in attachment, grief, and relational dynamics. Her work explores how early life experiences shape emotional connection and interpersonal patterns in adulthood. This article is adapted from her MA major research paper examining the impact of early parental loss on adult romantic relationships, with a focus on attachment, emotional regulation, and relational resilience.
Approximately 5% of children in Western countries experience the death of a parent before adulthood (Burns et al., 2020), with childhood parental death (CPD) linked to increased risk of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and social disruption (Aguirre et al., 2024).
Grief in children evolves with cognitive and developmental maturity (Stevenson, 2017) and is best understood not as a linear process, but as an ongoing emotional response to loss that may resurface at later life milestones (Lancaster, 2011).
While the psychological consequences of CPD are well-documented, its impact on adult romantic relationships remains underexplored, despite the central role these relationships play in adult well-being (Gómez-López et al., 2019).
A Question Worth Asking
How does early parental loss shape adult romantic relationships? Three related questions guided this review:
- How does CPD influence adult romantic attachment patterns, emotional closeness, and relationship-seeking behaviors?
- How does CPD affect conflict management, commitment, and relational stability in adulthood?
- How does CPD influence relationship satisfaction and the development of resilience within adult romantic relationships?
Looking Through the Lens of Attachment Theory
This paper examines early parental death through the lens of attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969).
- Attachment Patterns: Secure/insecure; adult romantic partners act as attachment figures.
- Internal Working Models: Early caregiving shapes mental templates of the self ("Am I worthy of care?") and others ("Will others be there for me?").
- CPD as Attachment Trauma: Childhood parental loss disrupts the secure base and shapes future relational expectations.
How the Review Was Done
A narrative review examined how CPD shapes adult romantic relationships. A systematic search of PsycINFO (January 2004 to October 2025) identified 278 records using keywords like attachment, romantic relationships, and childhood parental death. Records were screened in Covidence, and reference lists of included studies were examined.
Inclusion criteria: parental loss at age 19 or younger; outcomes related to adult attachment, intimacy, relational stability, or satisfaction; primary empirical studies. 13 articles met the inclusion criteria.
What the Research Shows
Early parental loss is associated with three connected outcomes in adulthood: attachment vulnerability, adult relationship patterns, and resilience.
Adult Attachment Insecurity
- Anxiety and avoidance
- Intimacy and trust issues
Romantic Relationship Status and Quality
- Earlier relationships
- Separation risk
- No consistent effect on satisfaction
Resilience
- Integrates grief
- Growth and meaning
- Stronger connections
Discussion
CPD creates a lasting relational vulnerability
Parental death in childhood disrupts the bond that teaches comfort, trust, and safety (Bowlby, 2003), contributing to anxious or avoidant patterns in adult romantic relationships (Van Heijningen et al., 2025).
These patterns are not fixed but can influence how individuals interpret their partner's behavior and respond to emotional distance. Grief often resurfaces within romantic relationships when attachment needs are triggered (Meyer-Lee et al., 2020).
Impact is nuanced
CPD may contribute to attachment insecurity, which can influence relationship satisfaction (Candel & Turliuc, 2019). However, it does not necessarily lead to poorer relationship quality (Van Heijningen et al., 2025).
Resilience coexists with vulnerability
Many bereaved individuals find ways to integrate grief into their lives and draw meaning from it (Chater et al., 2022). Grief, in this sense, does not disappear – it is carried differently, resurfacing at significant life milestones but also driving a conscious desire to love more fully (Hughes, 2024).
Clinical Implications
- Assess for early loss. CPD may quietly shape the patterns that bring couples to therapy.
- Look beneath the surface. Pursuer/Withdraw cycles may reflect attachment wounds, not communication problems.
- Anticipate grief reactivation. Life milestones may resurface attachment needs long after the loss (Meyer-Lee et al., 2020).
- Consider Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT). An attachment-based approach that helps couples identify their negative cycle and create new emotional experiences in session (Johnson, 2019).
An EFCT Negative Interaction Cycle
Nathalie (Pursuer)
- Behaviors: Criticizes/attacks
- Perceptions/Attributions: Of myself: "I'm not important." Of Robert: "He doesn't care."
- Secondary emotions: Irritation, urgency
- Primary emotions: Fear of abandonment, loneliness
- Unmet attachment needs: To feel important, to be heard and loved
Robert (Withdrawer)
- Behaviors: Emotional shutdown
- Perceptions/Attributions: Of myself: "I'll make things worse." Of Nathalie: "It's never enough."
- Secondary emotions: Frustration, distant
- Primary emotions: Fear of inadequacy, helplessness
- Unmet attachment needs: To feel important, to be validated and loved
Limitations and Future Research
Methodological constraints: Most studies are qualitative, retrospective, and rely on small samples, introducing recall bias and limiting causal interpretations. Narrow age ranges (mostly 20–40), cross-sectional designs, and self-report measures further constrain generalizability.
Population gaps: Men and same-sex couples are underrepresented, and samples remain relatively homogeneous despite some cultural diversity.
Future directions: Longitudinal, prospective studies are needed to track attachment and relational outcomes over time. Future research should include men, same-sex couples, and diverse populations, and explore therapeutic approaches tailored to attachment vulnerabilities in bereaved individuals.
Childhood Parental Loss Therapy in Ottawa
If early loss is shaping your adult relationships, you don't have to make sense of it alone. The therapists at Culminate Group in Ottawa offer couples therapy, individual therapy, and trauma therapy for adults navigating grief, attachment wounds, and relationship patterns rooted in childhood loss.
Book a free consultation to talk about what you're carrying, and what a path forward could look like.
References
- Aguirre, L. V. C., Jaramillo, A. K., Saucedo Victoria, T. E., & Botero Carvajal, A. (2024). Mental health consequences of parental death and its prevalence in children: A systematic literature review. Heliyon, 10(2), e24999.
- Chater, A. M., Howlett, N., Shorter, G. W., Zakrzewski-Fruer, J. K., & Williams, J. (2022). Reflections on Experiencing Parental Bereavement as a Young Person: A Retrospective Qualitative Study. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(4), 2083.
- Hughes, E. (2024). Grief and Temporality. In F. Brencio (Ed.), Phenomenology, Neuroscience and Clinical Practice (Vol. 131, pp. 103–116). Springer International Publishing.
- Johnson, S. M. (2019). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection (3rd ed.). Routledge.
- Meyer-Lee, C. B., Jackson, J. B., & Gutierrez, N. S. (2020). Long-Term Experiencing of Parental Death During Childhood: A Qualitative Analysis. The Family Journal, 28(3), 247–256.
- Van Heijningen, C. J. M., Van Berkel, S. R., Langereis, I., Elzinga, B. M., & Alink, L. R. A. (2025). Losing a parent during childhood: The impact on adult romantic relationships. Family Process, 64(1), e13060.
