Grief Counselling in Ottawa

Grief After a Death, and Other Significant Losses

Grief is the natural response to losing someone or something that mattered. After the death of a partner, parent, child, friend, or anyone close to you, it can touch every part of life, from how you sleep to how you see yourself. Grief counselling, sometimes called bereavement counselling, gives you a place to bring all of it, at your own pace.

Grief isn't only about death. You may also be grieving:

• A pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infertility
• The end of a marriage or relationship, or estrangement from family
• A serious diagnosis, for yourself or someone you love
• A role or identity, through retirement, job loss, or children leaving home
• A sense of safety or the future you expected, after trauma or upheaval

These losses can carry as much weight as a death, even when the people around you don't recognize them as grief.

What Grief Can Look Like

There's no right way to grieve, and grief rarely moves through neat stages. It often comes in waves: some days feel manageable, then a song, a smell, or a date brings it all back. Grief can show up in:

• Feelings: sadness, longing, anger, guilt, anxiety, numbness, and sometimes relief, followed by guilt about the relief
• Your body: exhaustion, disrupted sleep, changes in appetite, and aches or tension
• Your thinking: trouble concentrating, forgetfulness, or replaying the circumstances of the loss
• What you do: withdrawing from people, avoiding reminders, or holding on tightly to them

Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can bring grief back to the surface, even years later. That doesn't mean you're going backwards; it's part of how grief works.

Anticipatory Grief

Grief can begin before a loss happens. When someone you love is seriously ill or living with dementia, or when you're caring for a parent whose health is declining, you may find yourself grieving while they're still here. Anticipatory grief often comes tangled with exhaustion, guilt, and sometimes a longing for the waiting to be over, feelings that can be hard to say out loud. Counselling can help you make room for this grief, look after yourself as a caregiver, and prepare for what's ahead.

When Grief Feels Stuck

For many people, grief stays painful but slowly changes shape, and life gradually makes room around it. For some, it stays just as intense, or grows heavier, long after the loss. You might notice:

• A strong, constant longing for the person, or thoughts of them that crowd out almost everything else
• Difficulty accepting that the death has happened, or feeling numb and cut off
• Feeling unsure who you are without them, or that life has lost its meaning
• Avoiding anything that reminds you of the loss, or being unable to step away from reminders
• Struggling to return to work, relationships, or plans for the future

In 2022, prolonged grief disorder was added to the DSM-5-TR, the diagnostic manual published by the American Psychiatric Association. It describes grief after a death that stays intense and disrupts daily life long after the loss. Our therapists don't make diagnoses, and you don't need one to get support. What the change reflects is that grief can become stuck, and reaching out when it does is a reasonable step, not a failure to cope. Our article Understanding Grief: When to Seek Counselling covers the signs in more detail.

If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 (Suicide Crisis Helpline, 24/7) or go to your nearest emergency department.

How Grief Counselling Helps

Grief counselling isn't about "getting over" a loss or forgetting the person. It's about finding a way to carry the loss that lets you keep living. Depending on what you need, your therapist can help you:

• Talk about the person, the relationship, and the loss, including the parts that are hard to share with family or friends
• Make sense of mixed emotions like anger, guilt, or relief, without judgment
• Plan for hard days such as anniversaries, holidays, and milestones
• Rebuild routines and relationships, and find ways to stay connected to the person you've lost while moving forward
• Work through memories that keep replaying after a sudden or traumatic death, where EMDR therapy may be an option

Grief and depression can look alike and can overlap. If a persistent low mood has settled in alongside your grief, our depression therapy page explains how we can help with that too.

Grief in Families and Children

When a family loses someone, each person grieves in their own way and on their own timeline. One partner may want to talk while the other goes quiet; a teenager may seem fine at home and struggle at school. Those differences can lead to misunderstandings at a time when everyone needs support. Family therapy gives the whole family a place to grieve together and understand one another.

Children's understanding of a loss changes as they grow, so grief can resurface at later milestones, even many years on. Losing a parent in childhood can also shape adult relationships; our article on how childhood parental loss shapes adult romantic relationships looks at what the research says.

In Person in Ottawa or Online Across Ontario

Bereavement support is available in person at our Hintonburg office in Ottawa or by secure video from anywhere in Ontario, whichever feels right for you. Learn more about online therapy across Ontario. Every new client can start with a free 20-minute consultation to talk about what's happened and see whether the therapist feels like a good fit.